Blog

Something feels promising to me about this coming year. I mentioned it recently over on Instagram, but this time last year, I was a new mother to a 2-month old. All I could think about was dealing with the sheer exhaustion of being a new parent, let alone make goals and intentions for a new year. It was one of intense change – personally, professionally and emotionally. I battled with postpartum anxiety for the better part of the year. Often putting one foot in front of the other was as much as I could handle.

While that journey is a story I’ll save for another day, I’m walking into 2019 much calmer in my mind and body. I took steps to embrace a slower way of life last year, and it’s a journey I plan to be even more intentional about with this one. I wanted to take a few moments to revisit those intentions and share them with you. Recording my thoughts in a particular moment in time is important for my own self-reflection later on, but I also hope that my thoughts here resonate with you if you’re in a similar place.

I’ve come to realize that slow and simple living requires change in thought more than circumstance and situation. Stress and overwhelm are often triggers that lead us to think “What am I doing?”, “Why am I living like this?” and “How can it change?”

Naturally, our first physical and emotional response is to want to enact immediate change. I found myself in that place more times than I care to count last year. It felt as though my entire world needed to shift if I were going to feel any kind of calm.

I learned that what I was seeking in those moments was to feel the opposite of what I currently was – to feel peaceful, content and happy. I craved to get to that state of being, and it seemed unfathomable that I could feel that way while my life circumstances remained the same. It was compounded by my overwhelming anxiety. How then could I make life slower and less stressful without making dramatic changes?

I began to understand there are steps I can take to create a slower and simpler environment around myself. An environment that, in turn, will create more calm inwardly. Trust me when I say I didn’t automatically start implementing these approaches. It was trial, error, and lots of tears and self reflection over the past year, but it has helped.

The first thing I’ve learned in coping with the overwhelm and stress is to just stop. Go to a room, a corner, whatever quiet place you need to in order to shut out your surroundings. Sometimes the very act of talking and moving can just escalate whatever is triggering the overwhelm. Prioritize those few minutes to recenter yourself before saying or doing anything. You’d be amazed what it can do to calm your mind.

The second step in creating a slower pace of life has been to reduce what I have. Over the past year, I’ve decluttered and donated more than I have in likely 5 years. It was a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I needed to sort and organize so many corners of my home. It was taking up mental space that needed to be filled with calm and joy, not a to-do list.

We know the feeling when we sort through our closet or that junk drawer that has amassed countless random objects. It feels satisfying and “fresh”. I’m continuously working to make that feeling part of my every day, not something that happens just once in a while.

Part of making that feeling last requires me to constantly assess my buying habits. I used to think I was “behind” when it came to embracing the latest trends and movements. My younger self believed that having items that were current and new meant I was on pace with where I should be in life. How false that is.

I’m not here to say that you can’t have a meaningful or simple way of life without purchasing anything. On the contrary, I still love to shop as you’ll know from my many adventures antiquing and thrifting. However, these days I’m much more picky and careful with what I choose to buy. If I can’t directly identify how I’ll use an item, it rarely comes home with me. I try to buy locally, sustainably and second-hand as much as I can, and it’s something I intend to be even more proactive about this year.

Lastly, and this one is probably the most difficult for me, I’m constantly trying to be present in the process of whatever I’m doing. My generation has been conditioned to believe that doing multiple things at one time – “hustling”, achieving, promoting – are signs that you’ve made it in life. What I’ve learned is that multitasking is not a sign of intelligence, greatness or productivity. The constant pressure to achieve and to earn doesn’t define us.

It’s true. We have to make living. But we’ve also been taught very traditional paths to do that – go to college, land a well-paying job, work your way up then retire and travel. In the middle of it all, we’re always seeking to find time and space to slow down. It’s where terms like work-life balance are tossed about without realizing that the very idea that we’ve had to create such a term should show us what kind of normal we’ve assumed.

I’m aware that familial or financial circumstances may require us to give of our time and resources we’d prefer to use elsewhere. But if you dream of slowing down, of making your days a little more simple, then find ways to do that however you can in your life today.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a more traditional path nor abandon that path if that’s what you want or desire. If you are dreaming to have a certain career, a certain position or a certain way of life that requires the majority of your time and effort, then you should do that. What I’m saying is that you are no less intelligent or motivated if that is not your dream or you envision a daily life that looks different than what is assumed to be normal. Constant multi-tasking and “hustling” is not a requirement to being fulfilled or happy.

As someone whose mind feels like it never slows down, I find such joy in focusing and concentrating on one task, especially when it requires me to work with my hands. It’s why I love baking, gardening and photography. I’m constantly challenging myself to be more present, to put my phone away, to be less distracted. It’s not easy, and I haven’t mastered it yet by far. But what I can tell you is that it does help to bring calm and simplicity to those moments, however few you may have.

For me, slow living means I have choices with my time. It means making decisions that ultimately give me time back, not take it away. It removes the pressure to “fill up” a day and allows space and time to just be. My intentions towards living slowly give me the freedom to be present (or work towards being present) in whatever I’m doing.

I hope that my thoughts here resonate with you. They are, of course, my opinions and musings as we venture into a new year, and where I’ll be choosing to focus my mind even more in 2019. If my words hit home, I hope that we can journey together towards a life that is slow, meaningful and well, everything we dream it to be.